And then, as quickly as it came, it is gone. But it will come back. And you will go without real sleep for an undetermined time. Three months and counting...
By the way, body - you got old, not me.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Hot Nights
Women going through menopause during the summer know how hot hell is.
I cannot believe how it comes over you. You're just laying there, dying of stifling summer heat with no air conditioning, trying to think cool thoughts so you can try to sleep when suddenly, from no where, your body (clearly very angry at you for having gotten old) ups the ante by turning on some internal furnace - full bore. This furnace has yet to be found on a CAT scan but believe me, they will find it eventually because it is there. Your first inclination is to "drop and roll". Realizing that, no, you are not on fire you hold your breath for a moment in anticipation of spontaneous combustion - which at this point you would welcome.
And then, as quickly as it came, it is gone. But it will come back. And you will go without real sleep for an undetermined time. Three months and counting...
By the way, body - you got old, not me.
And then, as quickly as it came, it is gone. But it will come back. And you will go without real sleep for an undetermined time. Three months and counting...
By the way, body - you got old, not me.
Friday, July 6, 2012
From the Eye of the Beholder
My baby is now a teenager. Of course she was born 19 so she still has some catching up to do.
It didn't start well. She was so ugly when she was born I was speechless. She looked like a hairless mole rat. I had imagined a Gerber baby. No such luck. The prettiest thing in her hospital photo is the pink bow they taped to her head to identify her as a female human. Now before you start thinking how awful I am, we all laugh at this - she was a tough delivery and her face was very swollen right after she was born. Soon, she got very cute. But she looked like a boy. She looked like a boy for about 4 years. In fact, even though I dressed her in pink, people would ask me what "his" name was. Really.
Now I look at this gorgeous teenager and wonder where she came from. And I also know from experience that the next few years are going to fly by in a flash. She'll be gone before I know it.
But last night, after seeing a scary movie, she climbed into bed with us and put her hand on my back just so that she could feel I was there in the dark, like she did when she was little. And even though the extra body drove me to the very edge of the bed where I couldn't move for fear of falling off, I endured it - because she was a little gooby girl again - for a little while.
(She asked for a lemon meringue pie instead of cake - like her Grandma Carol. How would she have known that?)
It didn't start well. She was so ugly when she was born I was speechless. She looked like a hairless mole rat. I had imagined a Gerber baby. No such luck. The prettiest thing in her hospital photo is the pink bow they taped to her head to identify her as a female human. Now before you start thinking how awful I am, we all laugh at this - she was a tough delivery and her face was very swollen right after she was born. Soon, she got very cute. But she looked like a boy. She looked like a boy for about 4 years. In fact, even though I dressed her in pink, people would ask me what "his" name was. Really.
Now I look at this gorgeous teenager and wonder where she came from. And I also know from experience that the next few years are going to fly by in a flash. She'll be gone before I know it.
But last night, after seeing a scary movie, she climbed into bed with us and put her hand on my back just so that she could feel I was there in the dark, like she did when she was little. And even though the extra body drove me to the very edge of the bed where I couldn't move for fear of falling off, I endured it - because she was a little gooby girl again - for a little while.
(She asked for a lemon meringue pie instead of cake - like her Grandma Carol. How would she have known that?)
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Living in the Land of Huck
I have known Bob since he was 15. To know him then is to know him now.
Bob is loyal and sensitive and good to the core. He works hard. He is kind. He is generous. He is loving and quick to forgive. He is talented. He is ethical. He has great faith.
He is also a boy.
I'm told all men are boys at heart and I believe that is true. It takes very little to make a man turn into a goofy 12-year-old, howling with laughter till milk comes out of his nose at fart jokes and The Three Stooges. But Bob actually prefers to live in the land of Huck Finn and so I, naturally, assume the role of Aunt Polly. You remember her? The killjoy. The strict one. The grown-up. The one no one likes.
Huckfinnian hijinks abound. Yesterday, to warm himself, he stood on the edge of a fire pit while the flames lapped at his jeans. I screamed. He looked at me like I was crazy. I mean, he was cold.
I always loved Aunt Polly.
Bob is loyal and sensitive and good to the core. He works hard. He is kind. He is generous. He is loving and quick to forgive. He is talented. He is ethical. He has great faith.
He is also a boy.
I'm told all men are boys at heart and I believe that is true. It takes very little to make a man turn into a goofy 12-year-old, howling with laughter till milk comes out of his nose at fart jokes and The Three Stooges. But Bob actually prefers to live in the land of Huck Finn and so I, naturally, assume the role of Aunt Polly. You remember her? The killjoy. The strict one. The grown-up. The one no one likes.
Huckfinnian hijinks abound. Yesterday, to warm himself, he stood on the edge of a fire pit while the flames lapped at his jeans. I screamed. He looked at me like I was crazy. I mean, he was cold.
I always loved Aunt Polly.
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