Baby Fix

So friends of mine just had a baby girl. And I am so grateful. Because I needed a fix really badly. What is it about little teeny-weenie just-born babies that melt you to the very core? I confess I am completely smitten. But I do think that I have passed from the "wishing I could have one" to the "wishing I could borrow one" phase of my life.

When I found out I was pregnant with Grace, my neighbor said she could hear me screaming. One evening when I was only slightly "late" Bob and I were watching "Mrs. Miniver" on PBS. During the break, I took the pregnancy test and saw only the faintest, barely visible line in the window. So I sighed a sigh of melancholy and relief and went back into the front room to watch Greer Garson be the most admirable of mothers. Thankfully, I wouldn't have to measure up to her.

The next morning (because there were two tests in the box) I decided to take the test again, only this time, right before my eyes I watched a neon bright pink line appear in the window as though it were screaming at me. And I screamed back. Like Jamie Lee Curtis in a horror film.

Here I was 41 years old, with 3 daughters nearing two digit birthdays and suddenly, staring at the fact of my being pregnant, I was no longer thinking sweet beautiful baby. I was thinking diapers and car seats and diaper bags instead of purses and no sleep and being pregnant for 9 months and looking pregnant for 9 years and spit up and potty training and baby-proofing and baby-sitters and toys that make noise and five-years-till-kindergarten and six-years-to-all-day-school and colic and bottles and willfulness and toddlers who follow you around with their arms up crying because they want to be held 24/7 and Play-doh in the carpet and teeny, impossible-to-see Polly Pocket doll accessories and Lego's you step on that send you through the roof with pain and, and, and...

Of course what I got was a sweetie baby who melted my heart just like the first three did. And I fell in impossible-to-express love. Just like the first three. And it has been wonderful.

But I got the other stuff too.

So now - now I feel so fortunate because I know people with a baby and I get to hold this teeny little angel and coo and melt and smoosh and nuzzle - and then I get to go home. And sleep. Without a Diaper Genie by the bed.

And I have to tell you, she is beautiful. And her mom sent me a picture of her wearing the onesie I decorated for her at her shower. And I love this photo because you can see how her whole little bottom can fit in the palm of your hand. And I love that so much about babies. I love it so much that I think I have to go over tomorrow and hold her little bottom in my hand.

So congratulations my friends, for having your beautiful baby. You are so blessed and you are in for the most wonderful experience of your lives.

But you should know, she won't really poop rose petals.