God Shows Up. Again.

God really exists. This is a statement of fact and I have so many, many stories that prove it and perhaps I will blog about all of them eventually. But yesterday we got further evidence.

Christine had a big car accident. She was looking at another accident on the side of the road and slammed into a car that had come to a quick stop in front of her. The collision forced the car in front of her to hit the car in front of it.

Christine just bought her first car in June with her own money. She no longer has a car. She was badly bruised and was taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital because the shock of it caused her blood pressure to drop and she fainted. But she is absolutely fine. No broken bones, no lacerations. Just lots of ugly bruising. Mostly from the seat belts. The car is totaled. As well as the car ahead of her - but no apparent injuries to the driver. And I don't know what is going on with the car ahead of that one, but Christine was the only one who went to the hospital and we are, naturally, grateful that she and everyone else are okay.

When I got the call I was sitting and enjoying the newly air-conditioned house of my friend Janice. She is just moving back into her house after it had been basically rebuilt after a fire back in December. My cell rings and I see I have voice mail messages waiting as well. Bob had been trying to reach me. He did not sound good. He said: "Christine's been in an accident". I stopped breathing for a minute. My mind automatically goes to her lifeless body on the side of the freeway with a sheet over it. I gasped that gasp you gasp when you hear something un-hearable. I go blind and deaf for a second. I can't read his tone. The tone in his voice could have been anything from "Boy, we really didn't need this" to "she didn't make it". He quickly told me she was okay but had gone to the hospital and we needed to get there. All those emotions and thoughts in a 5 second span. Headache on its way.

Once I knew she was okay, really okay, I switched into practical mode and started firing off a ton of questions: "Was it her fault?" Yes. "Is her car totaled"? Don't know. "Was anybody else hurt?". Don't know. "Was there extensive damage to the other car?" Don't know.

Okay. Now what? Oh sh-t!!!

I got in the car and drove to the hospital and felt my shoulders rising to ear level and I could not get them back into place - even when I tried. The sky was still filled with smoke and the sun had started its daily descent and so everything was a dirty orange and I started to feel that big black hole gaining ground on me to try to suck me into it. Grace was in the car too - being particularly chatty I might add - about nonsensical things and it was all I could do to mindlessly "uh-huh" her and not scream. I put on my special CD of all my favorite music and played the theme from "On Golden Pond" over and over again because it is beautiful and serene and I thought it would help but it didn't. Grace protested. Couldn't she move it to track 15? "Jump" by Van Halen? No, no. The suggestion of jumping was far too powerful at that moment. By the time I got there I was getting what my grandmother used to call "the vapors" - whatever that is - except I know that it involves feeling like you're going to faint.

My brain couldn't wrap around the fact that my daughter had been in an accident; had caused it. Jenny was there waiting for me. Bob was on his way. We went back into the little area where they had her on an IV and a monitor and her face had black all over it - what I later realized was the gun powder from the air bag. But I knew she was fine. I knew this because she was on her cell phone. So I just started seeing dollar signs. Emergency room: Ka-chink. X-rays: Ka-chink. Ambulance: Ka-chink, Ka-chink, Ka-chink. Deductibles, raised insurance premiums, potential lawsuits? So I was relieved to hear the doctor had written her a prescription for Vicodin because I was going to need it.

And all through this I am aware that for some reason, God had protected her. She was okay and it didn't have to end that way. But here is where I really started to feel God:

1) I heard her telling her friend on the phone, "I don't know how I am going to pay for this". I didn't expect that. I had expected that she would tell us she was sorry and then wait for us to take care if it. And of course we will do everything we can to help. But she was taking full responsibility on her own and that, without sarcasm, was a miracle - a great moment I will never forget. There, in the midst of an awful experience, I was proud of her.

2) The previous day, we suddenly realized that our auto insurance was about to expire at midnight. I went to pay it online but saw that the money wouldn't transfer for 4 days. Normally (and I know this is really bad), I would think to myself, "Oh whatever! So what if its a little late? They'll have the money before they even notice its late". But for some reason, I looked up their address and drove down to their office and wrote them a check right there. Had I not done that, Christine would have had this accident as an uninsured motorist. And that would have buried us.

3) Once we all got home, after we had something to eat and watched TV and started to think about sleep, Jenny went into her room and found something strange sitting on top of her bed. She had never seen it before. Neither had anyone else in our house - but there is was, sitting - strangely - in the middle of her bed - from completely out of nowhere. It was this weird, oversized charm. It was kind of cheesy looking. It was about one and a half inch square and it had an angel on it and it read: "Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly".

And on my life, I am totally NOT making that up.