Introduction to Pilates

Here's a tip: if you think you are going to need your legs for anything - like, say, walking - on a Monday, don't start pilates training on Sunday.

My friend Julie is a certified Pilates instructor and has all the equipment in her home and she was kind enough to offer to show me the "basics" so that I would be ready for a class. I should tell you that Julie, a health and nutrition fan, has a body that is nothing short of aspirational. She is a couple of years younger than I am, but she looks half my age. Her posture is amazing - I have never seen a back so straight. Looking at her provides incentive. I should also mention that another friend of mine, Linda, similarly into health and fitness, is equally perfect looking - there must be something to this...

But I digress.

I cannot remember the name of the machine but to me it looks like one of those Nordic Trac machines turned on its side. I am familiar with the Nordic Trac system. I have owned three of them and I found them very useful for hanging clothes and such on.

Julie got on the machine and demonstrated some basic exercises, all the while telling me what she was going to be teaching me to do. It looked absolutely graceful and effortless when she did it; instinctively, I knew this was a lie from the pit of hell. I told her that. She admitted: "Oh, you're going to be thinking about me tomorrow!" She was right. Julie has not been off my mind since I got out of bed.

Here's the thing about pilates. It requires more focus than I am currently capable of. You must keep your hips square, your shoulder blades square, your breathing focused (in through the nose, exhale through the mouth at exertion and "knit" your ribs together as you exhale), lift your legs (in various positions) in complete isolation from the rest of your body, and slowly put them back down (as though you are "moving through peanut butter") and concentrate to insure that both legs are exercising with equal effort. My left side, it turns out, is stronger than my right side and this was particularly difficult. As a person whose feet roll inwardly as I walk, I had to add the task of keeping the ball of my feet centered on the machine to my list of focus challenges. So the upshot of all these multiple things I needed to keep in mind was this: to lie flat on my back with my hands at my side, one foot resting on the bar while lifting the other (straightened) leg straight up and then back down, took a full 15 seconds to mentally prepare for and another 15 seconds to execute. 30 seconds. One leg lift. This was going to be a loooooooooong class. Fortunately, Julie was understanding so I did the best I could but I can tell you honestly that the first part of my body that started to hurt was my brain.

I can tell you that there is a lot of stretching in pilates. It is designed to strengthen your core muscles which is something I am in real need of. And the stretching feels so good. At first. Today I met some of my muscles for what is apparently the very first time in my life and they are absolutely rude with all the screaming they are doing.

Julie also introduced me to this long, dense, styrofoam-y tube. It was to be used for the outer thighs, otherwise known as - well never mind. Julie explained that the muscles in the outer thighs get very tense and gnarled and it is important to massage them. Now you must understand that when I think of a massage, I think of the soothing, relaxing, ecstasy of Swedish massage. Julie, I came to understand, meant deep tissue. So when I balanced myself against this tube on the floor and rolled my body upward, I experienced a whole new kind of tortuous pain. I can only liken it to being hit across the thigh with a wooden baseball bat - it honestly brought tears. I could not believe that I was not black and blue when I got up off the floor. Julie said I needed to go out and buy one of these things. Oh yeah - I'm gonna run out for that one.

By the end of this instruction, while I had not done anything particularly strenuous, I was sweating and shaking like a wet puppy. It was embarrassing. But this darling girl was very encouraging and patient with me and when I stood up she asked me how I felt and I have to tell you, I felt better! I felt straighter and I truly felt lighter. And that felt sooooooooo good!

So I go back for more tomorrow. And while I am fearful of what it is all going to feel like this time, I am anxious for that endorphin rush. It will be worth it. Even if I'm on crutches on Wednesday.