Girls' Night Out

So last week, out of the blue, I get a Facebook notification from Jane that Leslie is going to host a Girls' Night Out. She invited a smallish group of us who were all, at one time, connected through Theatre West.

Uh. Okay. I'm in.

Theatre West is the oldest membership theatre in Los Angeles, if I am correct, and it was founded years ago by Betty Garrett and several other renown actors back in the 60's. At various times its membership roster has boasted such names as Richard Dreyfuss, Paul Winfield, Sally Fields before their careers took off. I think even Jack Nicholson was there for a second. More recently, Chazz Palminteri wrote and produced "A Bronx Tale" there - and it gave him his career. I was there at the time and it was exciting to see it unfold. And Leslie jump-started her career there with an hilarious play called "Love of a Pig". I will never forget seeing it the very first time they put it upon its feet. I did not have any major expectations before it started but it was clear she had a hit and it met with a standing ovation by the entire company that night. (A sidebar - I stepped into one of the roles of that show for a couple of performances when one of the actresses got ill. I was dating a bit of a pig myself at the time and he came to see me in it. After the show he told me that I was not good in the play and that he thought I was untalented. I broke up with him immediately but the happy ending was that I got cast as a "guest" on two episodes of the sitcom "Wings" as a result of that performance. So there, you sh-thead. Wherever you are.)

We were all performing in plays and musicals during those years - going to L'Express at 12:00 a.m. after rehearsals for wine and baked brie and cigarettes. We all fell in love a few times back then. And we all had our hearts broken too. And all the while, we kept pursuing a dream and it was, for the most part, fulfilling. You never really feel it when its happening, but retrospectively, it was a very exciting time.

Anyway, this was back in the 80's and 90's and it has been years since we were together. I have only recently reconnected with Jane and Sheila and I hadn't seen Leslie or Anne in nearly 20 years. I wondered if we would have anything to really talk about after all this time.

Apparently, yes we did.

Six were invited but one (Elise) had to bail because she had a table read of a movie she is doing. I thought that was exciting. The remaining five of us assembled at Leslie's "groovy chic" house in the valley - one she recently remodeled. I loved her aesthetic; both design and color. (The bathroom is spectacular - who knew that lighting could set a mood in that room?) There was way too much food (which I politely consumed all night long). There were mojitos as well as wine and me with my cranberry juice and sparkling water. Jane brought her iPod with an eclectic mix of everything wonderful. After many hugs and kisses and "you-look-exactly-the-same's" (on second thought, I didn't hear that...), we moved on to the deck and commenced pow-wowing. And it was SO FUN!!!

Sheila and I met 31 years ago when we were both 21, in the restaurant in the Travelers building in the mid-Wilshire district of Los Angeles. We had both just come to L.A. to be actresses and had jobs that paid the bills in that building. We were two of the four founding members of a kitchy singing group called "The Custom Cakes" and performed together for a few years, developing a small but loyal mostly gay following. We were bridesmaids at each other's first weddings. Our friendship was up and down and we just sort of drifted, with some hurt feelings I seem to remember, about 20 years ago. We reconnected about a year ago at a "Cakes" reunion party and picked up where we left off - but without the drama. She has had a successful career as an actress - you may not know her name but you've no doubt seen her on TV and on film. Most recently she has had a recurring role on Mad Men.

Jane I've written about before. She is the southern beauty renaissance woman: actor, musician, writer, doctor, activist, eternal hippie (but the cool kind). I think she was probably the initiator of this get-together. Jane loves a party. She kept sending emails that reminded us of the event. She phrased them as a "places call" you get when you are waiting backstage to know when the show is about to start: "51 hours to places. Thank you." "26 hours to places. Places in 26 hours. Thank you." Very funny.

Anne I hadn't known well at the time. We were friendly with one another but our circles didn't connect at the same time. She was highly regarded as a fine actress though, and as I knew that I was just this side of being a real talent, I was a little intimidated and so I kept a self-imposed, respectful distance. She married anther actor from Theatre West and 20 years, three sons and home school later, she is still deliriously in love with him. Either that or she is highly medicated. But I rather think that is not the case. She tears when she talks of him. Wow. She also had an amazing story of how her sister miraculously recovered from stage 4 cancer. The doctors can't explain it. I loved that Anne could. We share that kind of faith. Who knew.

And Leslie - I was the most excited to see her after all this time. Leslie has had a fairly awesome career. She has worked as a writer for a number of televisions shows. She was a co-producer on "Everybody Loves Raymond" and she wrote the wonderful film "Penelope". We were "apprentices" together at Theatre West, before becoming full fledged members. She was about 23 I think. Leslie is a very unique personality - extremely funny - with a memorable speaking voice. There was never anything dishonest or disingenuous about Leslie. She tells it like she sees it. But what I remembered most about Leslie was her unassuming manner and her true kindness. Her whole body telegraphs what's in her head and if she was concerned or empathetic you could see it in her stance. Because our paths took us to different places within the theatre, Leslie and I never got to be close friends but she was - and is - the real deal.

So imagine this group of interesting people as we sat on the deck for 7 hours (at one point, wrapped in quilts) and shared stories and ate dinner and revealed secrets and reminisced and confessed our frailties and laughed and laughed and laughed and - at the risk of sounding sentimental and hokey - loved each other. (I sound like Jane.) But I really truly did feel a full circle kind of connection - very cool.

I am struck by how we, as women, truly start coming into our own at about this age. We've still got a lot of time ahead of us but more than enough years and experience behind us to offer perspective and confidence about who we are - regardless of whether or not we are exactly where we dreamed we'd be - where it seemed so important to be back then. There was no competition in this group - as there may have easily been 20 years ago. Instead, there was camaraderie of truly wonderful, interesting people.

Sometimes its absolutely wonderful to be 52.