The Insidious Black Hole

We all know of the mysterious black hole that sucks one of each pair of socks we throw into the dryer into the abyss. I do not know who or what is responsible for this phenomenon but apparently these holes are multiplying because something in this house is sucking up keys and cell phones and nail clippers and stuff like that. Oh my lord - and glasses!!!!! It is maddening!

I just set my glasses down. 15 minutes ago when I got home from taking Grace to school. Black hole sucked them straight up. Gone. I don't know if they got sent to some parallel universe where the other "me" (am I employed there?) is in need of them for a while or what, but I know I will be spending the next several hours looking for them until they magically turn up in a suspiciously obvious place.

I occurs to me that maybe they got sucked up and randomly dropped off at someone else's house. Have any of you seen my glasses?!?!? If you find them, please let me know. And check around for my husband's cell phone while you're at it. We're losing our minds over here.