Back in the Saddle

Well, its December 26th, the presents are opened, left-overs in the refrigerator, house needs cleaning and I'm on the computer trolling job sites.

Christmas has left me optimistic but each job listing that I KNOW I can do, offers challenges in getting past the computer screening process. Meanwhile, Bob's business keeps plugging along - real estate being "The Little Engine That Could" these days - at least for us. There is enough in the pipeline to make me feel relatively secure and by the way, what ever happened to me getting my real estate license? Time to blow the dust off those books. Again.

I feel oddly anxious. Learning to take one day at a time is a challenge. I feel in many ways I have been successful but then I look around and and wonder what things will look like tomorrow. While I was on Disney's payroll until April, assuming I don't get a job by Thursday, I will have spent the past 343 days not working - and that is just so completely weird. I have dreams of past jobs and being back at them. Round Table Pizza. Montgomery Wards. Kelly Services. Nickelodeon. Disney. I am sort of reliving my life while trying to work out my future in my sleep. Then I wake up and have no idea what to do with myself.

I am looking at all the bells hanging on our Christmas tree and remembering the famous line from "Its A Wonderful Life" when Zuzu says: "Look daddy! Teacher says that every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings". Knowing that a teacher would no longer be able to make that statement to her class without threat of losing her job because of a lawsuit brought on by organizations dedicated to protecting the rights of those who suffer irrevocably from talk of angels in a public building, perhaps we can change it to: "Look daddy! Teacher says that every time a bell rings, an unemployed California resident gets a job". Why not? Its as good a fantasy as angels getting their wings to the sound of bells. At the very least it could be encouraging.

Another movie comes to mind. "Leap of Faith" where Steve Martin plays a scamming evangelical preacher. He delivered one of my favorite movie quotes ever: "There is only one thing bigger that the 'big fear'. That's the big faith!"