My Brain in Retirement

If the brain is a computer, then my hard drive must be crashing.

I speak to so many women my age who are experiencing the same thing and let me tell you - it scares you at first. But then you listen to their stories and realize - hey that's just like me!  Yes, I too forgot to put the coffee in the filter before turing on the pot.  Yes, I too can never find my car keys in the morning.  Yes, I too can never find my phone.   Yes, I too forget where I am going.  Yes, I too have spent twenty minutes looking for sunglasses only to finally find them on my head!

I have forgotten names, phone numbers, birthdays (I was never really good at those), what size pants Bob wears, appointments, words, directions, lyrics to songs, tunes to songs, virtually everything that you take for granted.

And sometimes, it is really gone.  Example:  We were in the car, talking about something I can't recall, but it must have been political because I asked: "What is the name of that film maker who did "Bowling for Columbine?" and Grace says:  "Michael Moore".  I think for a second and reply: "No. That's not the name".  Except yes, yes it is!

It's as if after years of keeping track of everyone's schedules, needs, likes, dislikes, appointments, whereabouts, play dates, teachers' names, client info, check book balance, bill due dates,  everyone's shoe sizes, who was grounded (and for what), boyfriends, breakups, girlfriends, breakups, what was in the refrigerator, anniversaries, RSVPs, and baby names, to name just a very few,  my brain just got up from its chair and left the building in protest.  And without notice.  And it appears that it is not coming back.

The computer  is the absolute worst.  I have had this wonderful old Macbook since 2007 - and it never fails anymore that I sit down to it and have to think about all the functions.  Where do I go to change the spacing between lines?  Is copy "ctrl plus c" or "apple icon plus c"?    Where is the volume key?  How do I transfer music onto my iPhone?  WHAT is my passcode??????  Its as if the sheer volume of options sends my little brain into a panic and it starts to sputter and smoke.

Danger, Will Robinson!!

So today at work, I'm sitting at my desk looking at my computer screen for the number of the client I want to call.  So I pick up the phone and start dialing but nothing happens.  I hang up the phone, thinking there is a glitch or something, pick it up again and dial again.  Nothing.  I look at the phone.  Hmmmm.  I look at the computer screen (is it the number that is the problem?).   I'm about to call IT but decide to try one last time - and it is then, in the middle of the "dial", I realize I am using the keypad on the keyboard of the computer instead of the phone.

I used to think that fog was romantic.