Learning My Place

Gettin' my groove on.  Grace's worst nightmare.

I was walking by my daughter's closed bathroom door last night, listening to her sing (presumably to the mirror with a hair brush in hand, as I did as a kid).  She really is talented and could, if she works hard and has some luck, do something with it.   But before she can walk that road, she needs to get over her infuriating judgement of what music is appropriate for her mother.

This afternoon, I am committed to the business of weekly housecleaning (where is that fairy?) and it goes so much easier with some music playing in the background.  I have a small but highly customized iPod library and it is extremely eclectic.  It ranges from old standards to worship music, from Broadway show tunes to pop - with some very unexpected stuff as well.  (For instance, "Jitterbug Boy" by Tom Waits.)  Grace nods approval of whatever she deems appropriate for me but there is nothing quite as aggravating as having her walk in with a condescending chuckle at seeing me dance to the pop sensation "Call Me Maybe" by Carley Rae Jepsen or "Single Ladies" by Beyonce.  It is a little laugh but it YELLS volumes.  And is says:  "Oh mom, do you know what you're listening to?  Because I don't think you really do.  And I really hope you never listen to it in front of people because no matter what you think, it will not make you cool.  And don't ever, EVER dance to it.  Not even in a closet in the dark.

I understand how she feels because when I was about her age, my parents had some friends over who brought the Beatles "White Album" to our house to listen to and I thought they were all unbelievably embarrassing.  I mean this was the reason they came over.  They made an event around it.  I remember my mother laughing appreciatively at "Rocky Raccoon", and both mom and dad liking "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" - I just wanted to slap them both.  In my eyes, their enjoyment of this music made them all the more pathetic.  Because it couldn't make them more cool.  It could only make them wannabees.  Nothing worse than that.  I'd have much preferred they stick to their old fuddy-duddy Percy Faith albums and accept that is where they belonged.  But I would have never chuckled at them.  Had I, I wouldn't be here to write this today.

With all that said, it is insulting when you are on the receiving end of the judgement of a 13 year old.  And my daughter feels much too free to express herself when it comes to where I stand on the "cool chain".  So with all the maturity of 13 year old, I am waiting for the next time one of her friends is over.  Because I am going to sing AND dance with Beyonce.  And Grace will have to work very hard for the rest of her life to erase the song "Single Ladies" from her mind.

"If you like it then you better put a ring on it - whoa oh oh oh oh oh..."