Oh That Bob!

I haven't written much about Prince Bob, the husband, because frankly I don't know where to begin. Suffice it to say he is a really good egg - a person that always gives the benefit of the doubt, loves unconditionally, and lets stuff roll off his back. He often acts before he thinks which can be very funny but sometimes very awkward. The exact antithesis of me. Often, he drives me insane but he also offers some really good stories. Always in retrospect. Here is one of them - I was reminded of it by Christine today.

When Christine was in 5th grade, she attended a Christian Elementary School. The fifth graders there always attend "outdoor school" for a week, where they learn about science and stuff, always from a Christian perspective (and while I am a Christian, I am not always in agreement, but that is another story...) SO this particular year, I went along with the class as one of the parent chaperones. This one morning, I'm sitting in the cafeteria with Christine's teacher (whom I really liked) having coffee and breakfast and we were in some conversation when she refers to "the incident" with Bob. I asked her what she meant and she replied "you know, with the police?" I'm sure I turned into a ghost. "What?!?" I asked. To which she replied: "didn't he tell you?? "Tell me what??" "Oh my", she said. "Oh I figured he had told you. I don't feel like it should come from me but I guess I have to tell you. But its all okay now, really." Which is a nice way of saying: "Don't have a heart attack, okay?" Here it is.

Christine has always been a rather soft-spoken girl and when she was young she was a little shy and insecure, which made her a target for mean kids. Well, there was one boy in her class who really bullied her. Bob dropped her off and picked her up from school everyday and one afternoon, Christine pointed the bully out to him on the playground. As Bob drove by, he rolled down his window and said to the boy: "I'm gonna get you." Well there is NO EXCUSE for that. That was a horrible thing to say to any person - let alone a child - but Christine was in the car with him so Bob figured the boy knew why he said what he did. And like I said earlier, Bob often acts before he thinks. So anyway, I guess the boy was terrified. He evidently didn't recognize Christine in the car with Bob. But the next morning, when Christine got to school, everyone was talking about the old man who had threatened the boy. Christine and others were questioned by teachers as to whether or not they had seen anyone matching the description of the man and the car at the school. Christine knew immediately and didn't know what to do. Apparently the boy had told the school (and police) that an old man in a blue Windstar had threatened to "get him" and that he had "his girlfriend" in the seat next to him. (Christine was his classmate and only 10 at the time). Anyway, an announcement went out to the entire school via the P.A. system so everyone was on alert for this "criminal". And my poor little Christine knew all the while that they were talking about her daddy and she was terrified. The whole school was abuzz with this drama and Christine spent her recess and lunch trying to hide. She prayed that no one would figure it out. Next morning, Bob's car was seen pulling out of the school driveway (after dropping Christine off), and someone went to the Principal's office with the license plate number and called the police. The school notified the teacher that the police had been called. Once the bell rang and all the students, including the bully and my daughter, were sitting in their seats, the teacher led the class in a prayer:

"Heavenly Father, as you know there was a man at our school recently who threatened one of our students. Today we were blessed to have gotten the license plate from his car. Lord we pray that the police are able to find and apprehend this man and take him off the streets so all the children in this community can be safe. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen."

Poor Christine, she started sweating and her heart was beating really fast and she nearly fainted. Can you imagine sitting in class with a bowed head and folded hands, listening to an entire class praying that the police would catch your dad and throw him in jail? I could just die thinking about it a full 9 years later. Of course the police showed up to our door - and within an hour the entire episode was resolved. Bob explained to the police, apologized to the family - it was a non-incident. It was over. And the entire family agreed not to ever tell me. Which is always a mistake because I always find out.

And this story, along with oh so many others, lives on in infamy as part of our family lore.

This first photo is a picture of the extremely old, unmatched socks he wore on our wedding day. The second is Bob at an elegant white tie affair we attended. By now you get it. He's just that kind of guy.