Thanksgiving Eve

I am happy to report that I have that holiday eve excitement going, even though this day is much like the last (meaning it isn't "special" that I'm not going back to work on Monday). What that means is that holidays truly are special in my heart and are not special(in my cynical old age) only because they mark time off from my job.

It feels different and sparkly - even if all we're doing is watching a National Geographic program on King Tut (which we are). Christine is at work and Amanda is either in class or at her boyfriend's house. Jennifer is on her computer, Grace is grooming her feet, the dogs are lazily roaming around, Bob is stretched out absorbing his beloved history programming and I am just collecting my thoughts.

One of our traditions is to set the holiday table the day before - which we did - and I get a great deal of pleasure looking at a beautiful table. And as I look at the table, I cannot help but think

back to a year ago and what a different life I had.

A year ago, I had a house full of people. My dad was visiting from Copenhagen, my sister Linda and her youngest son were here, and our friends the Barrett's had come with their two sons as well. We had gone to "Lister Party Rentals" to rent a table, chairs, and linens to accommodate all 13 of us. We had to set it up in the living room. And it was all very exciting.

The reason that we had such a large gathering last year was not so much about Thanksgiving but because Christine and Jennifer had their debutante ball on the following Saturday. Now before you roll your eyes and think "oh puh-leeze!", let me tell you that while it was a traditional ball, it was not a "coming out" or an "introduction to society" like they used to do. It was a ball given by the National Charity League to commemorate 6 years of community service given by my girls and their "class"through membership in the organization. Granted, you can easily say that to throw a lavish ball in order to recognize and celebrate young women for doing something they should be doing anyway is a bit over-doing it at least. Obscene at worst. But in fairness to all the debutantes, while they all enjoyed themselves, I don't think a one of them cared if they debbed or not. In my view, the ball was for the moms - myself included - for our six years of service and at least four years of fighting with our daughters to fulfill a commitment they made before they were old enough to know better (age 12).

But it was a sensational evening - as it had been the year before at Amanda's ball. And I have to confess that it may have meant more to me than anyone else there. Dressing in a beautiful ball gown with my entire family dressed to the nines looking exquisite and Bob in white tie and tails, dancing to a superb orchestra, being treated to a superlative dinner in a breathtakingly beautifully decorated ballroom at a fine hotel and retiring late in the night to a comfortable and elegantly appointed suite was a dream come true for me. It is the stuff of my girlhood fantasies. As a young girl and well into early adulthood, I was fascinated with the history of "Old Hollywood", with all its spectacular and royal-like, red carpet events and often wished I had been born at that time in history. A traditional debutant ball is as close as you get to that kind of glamorous night. And for me, it was worth all 463 collective battles I had with my girls to get there. And while I fully recognize now that this ball was something we could not afford to do in view of being laid off two months later, I am glad that I didn't know it then, because it was wonderful.

So this year is much different. Everything in our lives has changed, And for Thanksgiving this year, it's just the Smiths - which is nice. All the food was bought on sale (we've had the turkey in the freezer for three weeks). Missing are the gourmet chocolates and beautiful floral arrangements I had last year. No trips are being planned for the holidays. I am contemplating being at the mall at 5:00 a.m. to catch the massive Christmas sale prices on the very few items Bob and I have agreed to get the girls this year.

And I am so grateful! Because in spite of this being the scariest year of our lives, God has provided for us in so many ways. Bob's business has picked up enough to keep us comfortably above water during my unemployment, I have enjoyed having some time off after 34 years of full time work, I have given more of myself this year than ever before, and I can honestly say that I love my family more than I did a year ago (yes, my darling Amanda, even you).

And I have my beautiful table.