Did I Just Get A Job?

Huh. I got a job.

Huh.

For the past 13 months, I have been talking about wanting a job. There is relief in this. And some excitement too. I am not certain why I'm not doing cartwheels but I'm not. In fact, while I am not in the full out panic I was went I lost my job last year, I do feel a bit of low-grade panic running through my veins. It feels - well - the slightest bit strange to be employed again.

I am working for a new magazine. An epicurean book called YUM Food and Fun. And I will be the Sr. Account Executive for the magazine - the only one. So my territory is, well, the world - which means some travel (which can be fun). In fact, Kraft Foods which will be a major prospect, is in Chicago and I haven't been to Chicago in years. I have friends there. I could see them. But mostly I will be working from home which is part of what feels so strange to me. I have to get out of the mode that "working from home" means "volunteer for no pay" or "working part time for crappy pay". I guess I have always thought I would go back to a high-rise office building with lots of people and an office with a view and a coffee machine (that works). But the home office is in Anaheim which means that I need to work most days from my home - which means discipline, which in the end, I don't think will be a problem at all because I want to get paid. And I get benefits for the whole family!!!!

I think the other part of what feels strange is that I have learned over time not to get excited about anything. Not to assume that just because the interview went well that I am going to get the call. But this time I got the call. And I woke up this morning thinking: "Am I employed again?" Apparently, yes I am. Huh.

I met with the group and they are all extremely nice. When I walked in I didn't get any "wow, I thought you'd be younger" looks. In fact, there was woman there who is in my age range. No one seemed to notice I wasn't a size 6. What I felt was that I have the opportunity to feel productive and successful again.

And finally, the panic part comes from that feeling you get when you look at a bike and wonder

if you can still ride one. And maybe its because the bike I'm used to riding still says "Disney" on it.

So, odd as it is, wearing "job" again feels like a fit that needs a tiny bit of tailoring. I start on Monday. Perhaps I'll go out and try a cartwheel. On second thought, that seems a bit out of my range. Maybe instead, I'll go ride a bike.